A Kind Of Sickness
by Nyah-Cullen
Summary: Post 2x08. In Founder's Day, Jeremy said that compulsion takes away memories but not the feelings of pain. What about Elena about Damon's confession? I suck at summaries, please read! One shot.


**Disclaimer : The Vampire Diaries belong to The CW and LJ Smith! Too bad, I'd like to own Damon. Lol.**

**A/N : Another story post 2x08, I know! I needed to write that one! I don't know if you'll like it but I hope so :) **

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When Elena stared at the empty room, she felt kind of sick. She had butterflies in her stomach but she couldn't figure out why. She was in her pajamas, ready to go to bed, she had her necklace on but something was wrong... Too wrong. She frowned. She tried to remember each move she made since she got home and nothing seemed weird. She shook her head and went to bed.

Her phone rang and she read Stefan's message : "Sleep well. I love you.". She smiled and her sickness increased. She switched it off and tossed it off, she was pissed. Why couldn't she remember what had happened to her to make her so... Confused? As a reflex, she touched her forehead. It had the same sweet touch as usual.

She never felt like this. She tried to sleep but after four hours of tossing and turning in her bed, she got up and checked on Jeremy. He was snoring heavily, at least someone would have a good night! She went to Jenna's and found out she wasn't home. She frowned and then remembered that she was at Alaric's. She was on her own – as usual. She wouldn't call Stefan, she wasn't in the mood. Bonnie and Caroline must have been sleeping and she didn't want to disturb them. It left only one person. Damon. But she couldn't. There was no way on earth she could call him. Why? She didn't know. She just knew that she didn't want to hurt him anymore, she didn't want to see pain in his piercing blue eyes. She wanted to forgive him for all he did. She wanted to apologize, she had that weird feeling in her and she didn't know why she had it. She couldn't remember what she had done to him to want him to forgive her.

She didn't realize that somebody was watching her. Somebody she should have called because she was starting to cry. Her heart was aching and her cardiac rhythm was increasing. What was happening to her? She had no reason to cry... She was safe. Katherine was gone, things were getting better with Stefan but... _But_. Whenever she should feel happy and carefree, a "but" was wasting her happiness.

She sat on her bed and put her head in her hands. There was also a hint of guilt in her confusion and her sickness. Why would she feel guilty? She had no reason to! She may have had one in fact... If her family and friends were in danger, it was because of her but anyway, that wasn't that kind of guilt. Did she ever cheat on Stefan? Not as long as she remembered...

He wanted to get in the house and soothe her pain but he couldn't do that. It wasn't his duty. He was supposed to watch over, to be the one that would protect her at all costs, the one that remained hidden in the dark to let the light shine upon his brother. He didn't deserve to be loved by such a girl. He would never.

"Damon." she whispered between two sobs. He was as surprised as she was to hear her say his name. Why would she? He had erased her memory, she couldn't remember. He had drunk human blood recently, he was strong enough to make the compulsion last.

"I should know..." she said to herself. "Something's wrong. And I feel it burning my wires, running through my veins to destroy me. I'm sick. I'm dead sick." She eventually fell asleep, tears were still streaming down her cheeks. He silently stepped in her room and managed to put a blanket on her so she wouldn't get cold. Before leaving, he gently stroke her cheek, as he did a long time ago, when things weren't that complicated. She shivered and moaned in her sleep. He chuckled softly and left. One day, she may dream about _them_. He shook his head, how could he fool himself that much? She would never dream about him, or at least it wouldn't be a dream, it would be a _nightmare_.

That night, Elena dreamed about a blue-eyed guy who was shielding her from being hurt. She felt safe and happy until she saw the bleeding on the man's back. Blood was soaking his black leather jacket and he bent down. She ran to him but two strong arms held her. She screamed, she wanted to help him but he was dying. Wait, he couldn't die, right? She felt a bit relieved, until a blue-eyed, fair-haired and fair-skinned man got to him with a wooden stake. "No!" she cried out. But the man didn't stop. His eyes were cold as ice. She closed her eyes and felt tears rolling down her cheeks. She heard his final groan. He died to protect her. He died and so he would never know...

She suddenly woke up, she was all soaked with sweat. It was 11 am. She sighed in relief. It was all just a dream. Damon didn't die. He wasn't supposed to die. She frowned when she realized there had a blanket on her. She didn't remember it was there when she fell asleep... But the confusion and the sickness had been. And they still were.

She got up and went to her bathroom. Jeremy had already left the house to get to school and Jenna must have gone from Alaric's to work. She was alone, she needed to rest. She looked at herself in the mirror, she wasn't as bad as she expected but she had bruises all over her body and she had freaking shadows under her eyes. She hadn't slept well because of her nightmare and her sickness. She sighed and started undressing. She needed a bath, a warm and bubbly bath. She switched on the radio and _Just_ _tonight_ by The Pretty Reckless filled the bathroom.

_Just tonight, I will stay _

_And we'll throw it all away_

_When the light hits your eyes_

_It's telling me I'm right_

_And if I, I am through_

_It's all because of you_

_Just tonight..._

Elena closed her eyes and let the music penetrate her. She loved that song, she loved the lyrics and that time, it made her think of somebody, she just couldn't figure out who it was. She thought of Stefan, she may call him later. She needed someone to lean on... And then she remembered, he had enough to deal with. She was alone.

Two hours later, Elena stepped in the boarding house. Stefan and Damon were talking to Rose next to the library. She harrumphed and they all look to her. Stefan hurried to her and took her in his arms.

"How do you feel?" he asked with concerned in his voice.

"I'm fine. Thanks. What's going on? Why is Rose here?"

"I told you about the Originals and who they're working for, Klaus. Guess what? They're coming after you and most likely after all of us because Mr Blue Eyes killed Elijah. I'm here to help." Rose said as she approached Elena.

"Are you saying that it's my fault?" Damon exclaimed.

"Mmh... Kind of, yeah. But never mind, we have to know what to do. If you have any idea...?" she said looking to Elena.

"Run is no solution, I guess. We could trick them?" Elena proposed.

"They are the Originals. They'll see it coming. Is it going to be the four of us?"

"No. There are another vampire, Caroline, our own Buffy, Willow and we might have a Jacob. Welcome in Forks, the Hellmouth!" Damon said, rolling his eyes.

Elena sighed and restrained a chuckle. Damon was right. He heard her and glanced at her. Their gaze met and locked. Elena froze, she thought for a second she saw Damon crying but it couldn't be, his eyes weren't wet. She made a few steps toward him and stopped. She felt the urge to take him in her arms, as much as when they realized Katherine wasn't in the tomb. She had the weird feeling she could see through him, as if there was another Damon beneath the strong and cocky vampire who was standing in front of her.

Drowned in the blue of his eyes, she realized she had lost the track back to reality. She forgave him for all he did. And now, all she wanted was him to forgive her for all the pain she caused him. Without saying any word, they understood each other. She knew that he loved her, that was the answer to all her confusion. He realized that she knew and that she felt something. He was right, that awful night when he had snapped Jeremy's neck, there were something going on between them and she had just faced it. Still, it was too late. Damon knew he didn't deserve to be loved by her and when she saw it in his eyes, she felt her legs getting weak.

"Elena, is everything okay?" Stefan asked.

She got back to reality. Stefan and Rose were staring at them. "It's okay. I'm okay. I think I need to rest, I'm going back home." Then she hurried to her car, she didn't want them to see the tears streaming her cheeks. She loved Stefan. She _freaking_ loved Stefan. But her soul, her heart, her body, that all belonged to Damon. She was torn apart. She was in love with the most perfect man on earth, she should be over the moon but whenever she saw his dashing elder brother, her heartbeat increased, her legs almost gave out under her and her mouth went dry.

Once again, she found herself all alone again. She wanted to belong somewhere with somebody. She wanted to feel safe and carefree as she used to feel before her parents' death, as she felt in Atlanta...

_Oh Gosh_, she thought, _Damon, please come and save me from myself..._

**So? Did you like it or not? I hope I didn't make many mistakes!**

**Please, don't favorite without reviewing :)**

**Nyah-Cullen**


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